2026: THE YEAR OF THE PATRIOT

2026: THE YEAR OF THE PATRIOT

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✪ HOLD THE PRESSES! What a difference only a day makes in the fortunes and misfortunes of men; in the rise and fall of nations and empires! And here I thought I was all set to sit around the rest of this weekend in my post holiday glow doing nothing. I had already penned a vitriol laden screed aimed at the bubble-headed, sister loving, 70 IQ, thieving, lying, filthy, ugly, stinking, boils on the buttcrack of Mud-Hammed known as Somalis, but then New Year’s fireworks in Venezuela finally kicked off in earnest late last night. Good times! Yes, this edition of Double Barrel was supposed to be about the shitbag Somalis and their Donkee Party fellators, but I felt the significance of today’s current events and developments were just to pressing and profound to wait another week. IMO, they deserve immediate commentary. Besides, that Somalian squirrel isn’t going anywhere between now and next Saturday. If anything, it’s only going to grow even fatter.

Holy Caracas, Batman! I don’t think it’s possible now for any of us to completely comprehend the profound ramifications of kidnapping the commie bus driver out of his own house at 2AM. Nikki! Nikki mi amor, wake up! I heard something! It sounds like somebody is downstairs! Thankfully, like everything else, commies also suck at security. Aside from the obvious of freeing an entire country from the fucking nightmare of Communism after a quarter of a century and shutting down a major conduit of illegal drugs to this country (No wonder the Demmycraps are besides themselves with righteous indignation), there’s a whole bunch of secondary, tertiary and quaternary events which have now been set in motion. The dominos will start falling SOON! Sit back in your favorite chair, put your feet up with a couple of cold ones and a big bowl of popcorn and enjoy the 2026 Show! It’s just getting started!

Time will certainly tell how much of an incredibly brilliant, master stroke of five dimensional chess this current Trumpian move really is. Somewhere, I know the Gipper must be all smiles, because all of this is straight out of his playbook. “Honey, I Shrunk The Bus Driver” is really the long awaited “Noriega: The Sequel.” I know I don’t need to tell you that none of this would have ever had any REMOTE chance of happening if the drunk, word salad, Willie Bobber was sitting in the White House. I know, that’s a terrifying glimpse at an alternative quantum timeline, we thankfully jumped off of just in the nick of time. If Kamala was president now, she would probably servicing ole Nicolas with her famous blowjob diplomacy, because if there’s one thing Democrats love it’s the taste of communist tyrant dick in their mouths after it’s already been in their asses; especially if they can figure out a way to make it PAY by putting money in their pockets. However, I digress. My point here is never in a million years would such thing like this be even remotely possible with a Donk in the White House.

In fact, this is a very important moment of national reckoning. America has finally vindicated herself of the horrible pain of that stupid failure of the Peanut farmer’s sorry ass attempt to boost his re-election numbers by crashing several helicopters in a fucking sandstorm in Iran and needlessly killing more of America’s best sons and daughters because Democrats can’t PLAN, ORGANIZE or EXECUTE anything worth a shit. Except of course how to steal more taxpayer money, bugger little kids, LIE like the mutts they are on rugs and tenderly snorkel the buttcracks of their three most favorite, cherished classes of insects: criminals, illegal aliens and tyrannical, communist thugs.

Kinda like what the Potato and Dark Vader did with their chickenshit withdrawal in Afghanistan. You remember that stroke of executive brilliance, don’t you? When we suddenly cut bait completely out of the blue and left Afghanistan in the middle of the night with our tails between our legs, abandoning the most strategic airbase in the region to the Chinks, along with handing over $82 BILLION in taxpayer dollars worth of the most advanced, technology & weaponry in the world to ISIS and the Taliban, while watching thirteen American heroes be completely blown to shreds at the Abbey Gate. No, we haven’t forgotten. The coup d’gras was loading up the C-5’s with every sort of filthy, smelly, dirty, jihadi goatfucking diaperhead who could climb aboard & bring them here to this country completely unvetted to be settled in some tiny flyover village as yet another way for Democrats to say “Fuck you, America!” No, we haven’t forgotten.

OMG, did you hear what Mamdani said this morning? The invasion of Venezuela is a violation of international law! GASP! And he’s been in direct contact with the White House to provide input as to the best way to mediate this “crisis.” Whew, what a relief! BWAHHHAAAHHHAAA! Like anybody gives two dead rat asses as to whatever this Ugandan, MKULTRA bred, commie, islamic sack of shit thinks. STFU! NOBODY CARES, asshole. So put that chihuahua boner back in your pants and stop waving it in our faces trying to prove to us you have the cajones when we KNOW you really don’t. That compassion of “warm collectivism” he and his red smurf groupies are experiencing is nothing more than a full, hot load in they’re carrying around in their pants. Now you know the truth why he stinks so bad.

I’m kinda starting to really like the Trump version of Teddy Roosevelt gunboat diplomacy, Plan out the mission for months by collecting and gleaning massive amounts intelligence, go in with massive force and superbly focused assets, strike hard and fast, and then get the Hell outta Dodge before they ever realize what hit them. Most importantly, keep Congress completely in the dark so those traitors can’t compromise the mission by leaking it to the enemy. We did it last Summer when we took out Iran’s nuke industry and we did it again last night in Venezuela.

Can you imagine what a complete running clusterfuck last night’s operation would have been with a Boosh in the White House? It woulda taken twenty years and cost us TEN TRILLION dollars, as well as 10,000 American lives. Then we woulda been on the hook forever “nation building” which is just another fancy name for buttering all the MIC fat cat asses of his private club buddies and pals. Fault Trump all you want, because NO man is perfect, but I’m still as thankful as a two dollar hooker in a Midnight free clinic on new Year’s Eve that he’s running the show now. Admit it, isn’t it wonderful to finally have a President who actually acts, instead of always going on television to mumble out of both sides of his mouth only to make certain he’s re-elected? See, we’ve always been capable of this kind of moral decisiveness and more than able to wield our power in such a way to secure our own freedoms, prosperity and defense. The same way with the economy. Instead, we were hypnotized & conditioned into believing only a lukewarm economy is the best we can manage and we should just sit down, shut the fuck up and be happy with our stagflation, higher taxes, more debt and a Middle Class slowly bleeding out. Well, that’s still better than a full blown depression, right Sheep?

Pinch me, I must be dreaming! This is the next level of our ongoing national awakening. We are being shaken from our stupor to once again wake to reclaim our birthright of Divine Blessing. Murica, fuck yeah! Abducting the bus driver and blowing up Hugo’s mausoleum, while giving the Venezuelan people a serious shot at a much better future where they won’t have to eat zoo animals or forage thru dumpsters to stay alive is about much more than it appears on the surface. Maduro and his criminal regime were in the process of allowing the Iranians, Russians & Chinks to establish a rampart of permanent operations in the Western Hemisphere. The Iranians were only a hair’s breath away from inking a deal to open a military drone manufacturing facility in Venezuela. The Chinks were actually in town for some high level talks about some mutual national weenie warming on the same day we crashed their party. What a crying shame, right? So many broken dreams of things which will never be. Sniff.

Perhaps I need to remind everybody here that Venezuela was also the documented Smartmatic nexus of international voter fraud. Don’t be surprised to see if the worst dregs of criminal globalist shitbags suddenly stop winning election in places where it’s completely obvious everybody hates their guts. And then there are even more aftershocks of today’s earthquake of events. Hey Cuba, I’m looking at you! Our current Secretary of State just happens to come from a family of Cuban refugees so I think I can say with confident certainty that you’re fucked and on borrowed time! Prove me wrong! It’s not a matter of IF, but WHEN. More dead Commies walking! With Maduro gone, there will be nobody coming to save Fidel’s great “socialist revolution” in Cuba. Because I shop at the Men’s Warehouse, I guarantee it!  Perhaps we can finally toss Fidel, Che and every other Latin American tinpot onto the shit pile of history and finally FORGET them. Vive la revolution del capitalismo!

Don’t worry too much about our pal the bus driver because he’s actually hit the Lotto; but at this early point in the game, is still too stupid to know it yet. I predict we will make him an offer he can’t refuse. We’ll sit down with him for a series of down to Earth talks where he will give up all sorts of juicy information about drug running, human trafficking and the crimes of all the Democract shiteaters who have suckled his starfish for the last ten years. If he cooperates (which I believe he will) he’ll spend less than ten years at a Club Fed before being completely rehabilitated and released. By the time he dies, he’ll be a true believer who owns six Taco Del Mar franchises in Texas and has an American flag with “Mom” underneath tattooed on his bicep.

It would be great to sit back and take things easy this coming week, because I’ve already got the next edition of Double Barrel penned and in the can, but Hell, what do I know?  This New Year is off to a real BANG and things are really moving FAST! I voted for this! Who knows what’s going to be coming at us in the next five or six days? What I DO know is every communist shitworm dick-tater in the world is probably trembling and spotting their little girl panties right now. Who will be next to wake up with the horse head in their bed? Hahaha! You gotta know this news has stoked the people of Iran. How wonderful would it be for me to have to pen next week’s Double Barrel about the liberation of Iran? Or open revolution in China? Don’t go anywhere Americanists! Be here or be square! Tune in next week, same Bat time, same Bat channel to find out. Fuck Democrats, RINOs, Communism & Islam! 2026 is going to be the Year of the Patriot! God Bless America! ✪

For God, Family & Country,

General Mossberg