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Pay Your Taxes, Peasants!
Pay Your Taxes, Peasants!
During the Civil War, Lincoln found out the hard way that war ainât cheap, it’s expensive. He railed about the lack of enough cash to prosecute the war; and, his cabinet came up with a clever idea of milking the average citizen by instituting an income tax, so he did. Twelve years later & long after the war ended, that tax remained in place until enough of the People finally said, âHey! Washington DC, fuck you!â and threatened to shoot the very congressmen who then suddenly decided to repeal it. Well, wasnât that nice of them? Everything was just fine for the next few decades, until Woodrow Wilson was elected President; and almost immediately, people nationwide started feeling that pounding sensation in their asses when he began to tax the fuck out of everything & everybody to pay for our involvement in WWI: which BTW, we should have stayed out of in the first fucking place. By doing so, we would have saved ourselves a buttload of future trouble & problems. Oh yeah, Woody Wilson was also the utterly moronic fuck who thought up time zones & Daylight Savings Time. Time zones which squiggled all over the fucking place to a point of absurdity where neighbors an hour apart can wave at each other from their yards, instead of just being straight, longitudinal map lines. Apparently, Wilson just didnât give a fuck because Daylight Savings Time gave him an extra hour to find new ways of fucking America out of it’s shoes. A job he seemed greatly to enjoy. The next time your internal clock makes you feel like you want to smash your alarm clock with a hammer, you can thank him. He should have been drowned in a vat of boiling caustic soda or smashed down with a pile driver, because on top of everything else, he alsa cursed us with the Internal Revenue Service.
Yes, the IRS…that infamous, fucking human vomit, professional unaccountable jack booted, gestapo arm of the US government. At one point, Wilson was taxing people at a 77% bracket. Perhaps the only good thing about the Great Depression was that almost nobody had a job nor enough income for the Government to tax. Of course, the exception being Congress. Not to worry, they saw that one coming too and quietly passed legislation exempting themselves from all income taxes. They also passed additional legislation insulating them from any & all future onerous bills that might negatively affect them.
Not some of those laws, all of them. However, they also found time to vote themselves numerous pay raises; some things never change. With backing from Congress, the IRS went overnight from a simple tax collection agency to a totally unanswerable, unaccountable juggernaut with powers of itâs own that exceed those of the government. They can now take whatever they want without reason or accountability, and have no problem destroying the lives, careers, businesses of hard working Americans. Worse, they have a tendency to single out the most vulnerable among us who are unable to fight back. Whenever they claim you owe them money, you do. Even if you donât believe you do, you do. Why? Because some pencil pushing, syphilitic napoleonesque, cock sucking IRS weasel somewhere says you do. Once again, itâs all about the POWER: pure, unchecked POWER. Theyâve also given themselves powers to set new rules everyone has no choice but to follow. Instead of easily calculating a simple percentage to pay, you now have to use cryptic forms to navigate numerous pages of pure assholery. If you accidentally happen to get something wrong while running this legal obstacle course of theirs, they come after you for an audit or claiming âtax evasionâ. For already more than a century now, Americans have been helplessly watching ever larger & larger percentages of their personal & business earnings evaporate at the hands of these financial fanatics who seem Hell bent on making you a criminal only because youâre successful. You work, and they donât care; because you must render unto the IRS what is really yours. Fuck America!
In the past, wealthy people have used their influence to pay off politicians to pass policies which favor them with more exemptions. Much of this influence money the Wealthy give to politicians is often disguised as campaign donations. Those very same politicians then dangle those âexemptionsâ in front of their constituents in hopes of garnering more votes. Large campaign donors are offered special tax âloopholes,â while the regular Joe Americans watch their friends and neighbors be utterly crushed and destroyed by the IRS for seemingly trivial reporting errors. Once some asshole hippo fucker wins their election after promising the common folk new exemptions, they always find some way to limit those deductions afterwards. See how that works? Itâs called graft, greed, corruption, and pure unadulterated power: with seemingly no consequences whatsoever for any overreach. They instill a fear into people to conform & obey by making an example of destroying their neighbors. This crap is still going on today! Al Sharpton still owes the IRS eight million fucking dollars in unpaid taxes & yet, they leave him alone; but, Aunt Hilda canât find the receipt for that bolt of cloth she bought for her dress shop five years ago so sheâs harassed, arrested and her bank account frozen while sheâs charged with tax fraud. Hmmmmmm, whatâs wrong with this picture? Ok, you ass plugging, bung sniffing, shrimp dick, IRS fucks….where are YOUR receipts? Where are all the receipts for the money you strong armed out of us so Congress could waste it on pure bullshit? Why doesnât the Congress by law have to show any accountability for their own expenditures!? Hello! Where the fuck are those receipts? Where the fuck is our money? They could give an empty bank account fuck because they all look the other way with a blind eye as they keep taking and taking and taking⊠Fuck you IRS assholes and all of your Congressional lapdogs! I happen to be fully qualified to write and complain about all of this bureaucratic largess and criminal indifference because I have personally experienced it!
Some time ago, I did my peon taxes, and filed them⊠on time (Yes, yet another gestapo tactic, submit by this certain date or else bad shit will come down)! Anyway, I calculated I had a $3.50 refund coming back to me, yay! About six weeks later, the IRS sends me a letter sternly stating âwe have gone over your returns and found that you were off by $3.50. We have subsequently added that amount to your payment. If you agree to this adjustment, sign below and return mail immediately.â I didnât even bother wasting my time with this. Why? Theyâre the IRS, omnipresent and all powerful, so I ignored their stupid letter. A few weeks later, they sent me another stern letter asking me yet again to agree with them and either sign their letter or mitigate their proposed action. I simply wrote âno, I donât agreeâ and sent it back. A few weeks later, I received yet another letter from them detailing a time and place where I could âargue my caseâ in front of an IRS auditor. I promptly sent another âno thanksâ response back to them. A few more weeks passed, and I get another letter; this time from the Assistant Attorney General of the United States telling me if I didnât sign the enclosed form I would be subject to arrest and possible jail time for willfully refusing to pay my taxes. What The FUCK? Oh fuck NO! I wrote them back explaining they had already taken the $3.50. I told them I didnât agree, but they already took it. I told them I donât agree with them taking it; but, they already took it, so I donât owe them a thing. That means Iâm paid up. Their threats mean nothing, because they already got their stinking money: regardless I didnât agree then and I still donât agree now. I told them, âIn fact, Iâll never agree to it and I owe you jack shit.â A couple of months later, I got another identical âdo you agree?â letter from the IRS which I still have. I still donât agree, but I forced them into spending about $25 dollars on postage and at least another $75 thousand dollars on the four hundred employees to push paper for months on my $3.50. I donât give a fuck and theyâve never contacted me about it again. Fuck the IRS in their collective asses with a heated street light pole, then toss them out in front of a bunch of drunk Mexican truck drivers. You know something? I still donât care! Theyâre a fucking gang of legalized thieves; beady eyed, little dick losers who hate everybody and the World because couldnât manage to get a date for the high school prom. Thatâs not my problem. If they have any further questions, theyâre always welcome to come see me. I have a deduction I can take on their skulls right here, right now.
That is all. Carry on.
General Mossberg
