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If I Ran The Country

If I Ran The Country


In as much as we find ourselves now subjected to what I can only describe as a kind of most bizarre of juvenile high school plays ever foisted upon the Human Race, it should come as no surprise to you, dear readers, that I would eventually share with you how I think this country should be run. Understand, there’s a risk what follows could be just as unworkable today’s government, or not! OK, you’ve all been warned but go ahead and indulge me anyway, if only for a few minutes. I promise to make it very much worth your while! Close your eyes and click the heels of your ruby slippers together while saying… Hold on now, let’s seriously think about how we can repair & restore our country back to as it was originally intended. Personally, I don’t think that’s even possible while the present syndicate of anti American pigs are still stealing oxygen, along with everything else. For the sake of my imaginary scenario, let’s just assume they’ve already been liquidated. Easy enough. After all, there are some things we must do prior to establishing a proper groundwork for the new “General Administration;” and shoveling all the shit out of the Congressional barn would be Job One on my “To Do” list as President. We have already know for a quite a very long time who the real bloated ticks on the body politic are; those who continually place their service to themselves above their service to the American people. Their crimes have all been allowed to compound for far too long and they must be stopped NOW! Nothing less than our survival as a nation depends upon their complete humiliation & destruction.

Unfortunately, our present day, Deep State Swamp is filled with much more than the collection of Dominion s-elected public officials; it’s also home to their staffs & the millions of make work, public sector union members who have yet to miss a paycheck while they sit at home on their lazy fat asses during the lockdown because most of their government offices are still closed due to that chink bat flu scam. What most of them consider “work,” is actually only a highly skilled undertaking in the wretched art of unskilled undertaking of bureaucratic paper shuffling. Most dribble in to their “work” by 9AM, enjoy their first official, union mandated, coffee & donut break from 10:30 to 11:15, then go to their 2-3 martini lunches at 12:30 returning no earlier than 2PM to their hive cubicles. Followed by their next official, union mandated, afternoon coffee & donut break from 3:15 to 4PM, finally ending their work day no later than precisely two seconds after 5PM. Multiply all of this sloth, apathy & irresponsibility by a factor of MILLIONS you start to see the importance of how we need to be rid of these maggots, along with their six figure salaries, guaranteed pensions and all of their gratuitous, bullshit perks before we can ever have the ghost of a prayer to make our Government more efficient or accountable again. That’s where Mossberg steps in to give new meaning to the word “draconian.”  Legal disclaimer: NO government employees or s-elected officials would ever be harmed in a President Mossberg’s America. Unless of course, they were commies and were asking for it. In such instances, all bets would then be off…but then I digress.  

I’m making my list and checking it twice! How about you? First, there’s Congress and their loyalist whores, the government alphabet agencies. Followed by the crooked “Just Us” department, the FBI and the other 27 now useless agencies of the Intelligence Community Crime Syndicate along with all of their dead wood “staff.” Then there are all those cheery, happy, front line, gooberment worker bee putzes who could never make it in the private world. Even calling them workers here is a real stretch because they’re really not. At best, they are only “employees” and that too may be giving them far more credit than they actually deserve. Let’s just say “professional slackers” with guaranteed positions and some of the most bizarre “job descriptions” ever imagined; like being the under secretary to the assistant secretary of the senior secretary to the assistant department manager’s third office secretary in the deputy department of pencil acquisition’s chief lead inspector to the managing secretary of writing utensils. Can you hear me now? Government is now saturated with millions of brain dead zombies earning six figure incomes for jobs just like that! Millions of zombies sporting their taxpayer funded pensions who can never be fired even for murdering their own mothers! Some of whom are actually greedy double dippers with more than one government pension in their household! STFU you dirty peasants, we gave you $600! Have you noticed? They never go on strike; because if they ever did, they’d attract too much attention to how very little they do and how completely unnecessary most of them are. We can’t go having that! Probably 90% of government jobs could stand to be eliminated before anyone would even start to notice or know any better. However, the person hurt most by cutting government waste would probably be Xi; as he’d need to find an entirely new bunch of suck up sellouts to do his dirty work. 

Please allow me to inform you of how a President Mossberg would provide new solutions to make your government work. First, I’d get voter fraud under control by mandating all paper ballots and inked index fingers along with a national voter ID. You read right; under my policies, we’d return to Old School which worked just fine before the current crop of communist assholes put their filthy, muddling hands all over the present day system under the pretense of “improving” it. Whenever a politician says they’re going to “improve“ something, you know whatever it is will soon enough become a major clusterfuck. Bet on it! Instead of having the state delegates declare the winner of a race based on the most votes in each precinct, instead call whomever has the most votes in each county as the winner. In this way, a huge Rat’s nest like Los Angeles receives the same state electoral representation as Podunk County next door and all of the motivation goes out of cheating by creating fake ballots. For all I care, they could claim 500 billion people in Marlin County voted for the Sniffer and it would still hold the same weight at the state level against the 7000 in Podunk County who voted for Trump, so long as they were both in the same state. This would also take all of the air out of the relentless drive the Rats have toward allowing illegals to vote in our elections. We could rebalance each particular state’s electoral representation by defining victory based on counties instead of precincts. The more sparsely populated counties in America would no longer be overshadowed or squeezed out by the communist coastal counties with their large, blue metro precincts. It’s not rocket science.

Let’s move on, shall we? Next to go under the axe would have to be that hive of total government villainy, the IRS. Slice and dice it it down to a mere 150 employees, all of whom occupy only one floor of office space in a single building. It’s an entirely unconstitutional fabrication to begin with, anyway. Completely eliminate the entire current income tax system structure along with the more than 40,000 fucking pages of bullshit tax laws & policies even THEY don’t understand. Instead, institute a simple, more straightforward, national 10% consumer sales tax on all purchases which doesn’t play favorites by rewarding one group of taxpayers while punishing others. If you’re a panhandling street bum, you’ll pay 10% tax on that $9 Dollar pack of smokes; the exact same tax rate as the billionaire who buys a $100 million luxury yacht. Now there’s some real fucking “equality.” The IRS would go overnight from being the “Infernal Reaming Syndicate” to a much more streamlined and efficient “Income Receiving Service.” Another immediate benefit would come to all the independent filers and businesses who would no longer have to waste millions of lost man hours and mountains of money every year paying tax “experts” to file & protect them from needless, predatory audits. Of course, this would mean tax lawyers and the entire tax consulting industry would probably go out of business. Boo hoo. Next, I’d go on a mission from God to cut every wasteful penny of government spending and subsidy…like a Samurai ninja! ALL of it, everywhere & to everybody! The friggen States would have to finally calculate and keep within their own budgets if they wanted to stay functional & solvent. That’s supposed to be the job of their legislatures, anyway. NO more Federal bailouts, loans, grants or subsidies under a President Mossberg, nothing! And no more hyperbolic declarations of states of “emergency” by blue state Rat governors just looking for their chance to milk Uncle Sugar by bilking the rest of us. Since there would no longer be any Federal “bacon” for the pigs in Congress to bring home to their representative states, perhaps those pigs would actually start doing their jobs.   

Next, Congressional term limits for everyone limited to only two terms maximum. No more dying at your desk in the Gallery at 102 years old will be allowed! Pay the lazy bastards a daily wage for whenever they decide to actually show up & work, not a wasteful yearly salary for only 126 days of work. Pay them some flat daily amount like $100 and force them to write their own bills themselves. Get rid of the fucking 5000 “staffers” some of these self inflated asshole jerks believe they need in order to keep on not doing their jobs. Require every Congressional vote to be vocal and go on the record; no more chickenshit unrecorded hand votes because re-election season is right around the corner. MAKE THEM ACCOUNTABLE! REMOVE ALL incentives and motivators of their corruption; the insider trading loopholes, the biased nepotism, the cushy perks and wasteful expense accounts including their preferential healthcare coverage. Make them live by the same laws and results of their own policies they force on the rest of us! 

No more fucking earmarks, riders, attachments, bundled or packed bills! NO more sleight of hand, back room, under the table, last minute additions or changes. NO more dirty dealings to swing special favors & advantage to their lobbyist buddies. NONE! When a particular bill fails the floor vote, then it’s finished, 86’ed, kaput, GONE! It either passes or it doesn’t without any further paint or lipstick! Finally, the coup de gras, the mother lode, the piece d’resistance, the Holy Grail of the Mossberg Plan: abolish ALL public service unions. The tax payers of this country have been cheated for too long into funding something which has provided absolutely ZERO benefit to them. Public service unions are probably the dumbest, most corrupt idea ever conceived by the bureaucratic mind, so let’s not give them any more time. Force the Congressional nitwits into actually doing their jobs by providing an annual budget detailing the expenses of every government agency. Force each agency to prove their actual budget needs and expenses before final approval of each annual budget allotment, period. All of the current deadwood would flush from the system in less than two years. Don’t ever give them another opportunity to become lazy, apathetic or self serving; make them WORK for their living like the rest of us. I’ve only touched here on a few of the most important changes I’d make if I ran the country; but I can boil it all down to one universal idea: I’d return this country back to the original organization of government as our founders intended. Oh, one last requirement; for anyone to be eligible to work in Government, they would have to prove native born, American status and not be some imported, radicalized, marxist third world shit hole, mud jumper. Yeah I know, a guy can dream, because having real Americans working in service to real Americans would be sooo racist, right? 

In the General’s world, there would no longer be any life long government careers because there would also be NO lobbyists. No more cheating for votes and gaming the system; only policies which meet factual, constitutional criteria and benefitted ALL Americans. EVERY American would follow & be subject to the SAME policies. Returning to a sane normalcy won’t be as difficult as you might expect once we finished culling out all the communist, anti-American scum from the general population. In fact, it could very well prove itself to be the natural outcome of such a cleansing: the restoration to an original form of government which actually works for “We The People” instead of only for itself or our enemies. I believe anything is possible. One last thing before I leave you until next week; if you are someone who volunteered for military service, were injured on duty or wounded in battle, a Mossberg Administration would make certain you were never abandoned or forgotten. If you were someone who put their life on the line for your country and fellow Americans, then you and your family deserve to be well compensated for your sacrifice and service. NO more bullshit excuses or “forgotten soldiers;” and since the Pentagon will be bereft of any career desk REMF jag offs, there should be plenty of good jobs available for those qualified in my new War Department. Our new motto would be “Fuck Around and Find Out.” An America managed and run by Americans for Americans as it should always be; that’s my dream. When you think about it, shouldn’t it be all of our dreams? I bet we could make it happen, too!

As you were.

Carry on,

General Mossberg