✪ I gotta make a confession. I did it. Against my better judgment, I sat through the entire Republican Baby Beauty Contest to see who was going to win the Oscar for best debate performance. Yes, I am that much of a glutton for punishment. I saw how important this debate had become to Fox because they were busy plastering chyrons and announcement squares of the upcoming debates all over the place; hyping it up as the biggest television event since JR got shot. Hosted by Muff & Buff; the most trusted names in fair & balanced reporting. Muff was the most popular girl in your high school senior class only because she was pretty and had a new car. Daddy got her jobs for her. Buff was first string quarterback and Homecoming King. After he graduated, he delivered pizzas until he saved up enough to get into journalism school. You can always count of Muff & Buff to get to the bottom of all the most important stories. They’re part of the winning FUX Team, America’s most trusted news source. For fucks sake, they even had a permanent countdown timer banner running continuously at the bottom of the screen, even thru all the fucking commercials. Hours before the debate, the talking heads started talking about every possible “what if” scenario which might come down the pike from the quantum universe. OMFG, you gotta be industrial grade stupid to listen to people like Juan Williams mumble on about Trump being a coward for not showing up. I’ll bet you a dollar to a donut the infamous “Decision Desk” is also staffed by more Muffs & Buffs. You remember the FUX “Decision Desk,” don’t you? That faceless media influence which called Arizona for Joe ten minutes after the precincts closed; before the first fucking vote was even counted. All the regular Team FUX news anchors were simply besides themselves all a twitter breathless gushing about how this debate was the most important thing in the world since fire was discovered. FORGET all the shit happening everywhere in the rest of the world! Look, Squirrel! Bread & Circuses! America is watching FUX News! It still turned out to be more fizzle than sizzle.

The RINO Most Beautiful Baby Pageant was a complete waste of time, A total non-event because every one of the eight losers on that stage each had less than 10% public popularity in the polls. Most were actually below 5%, a couple at ZERO and one one guy I’ve never ever heard of before; not even once! WHO CARES where Nikki Haley stands on abortion? WHO CARES if Asa Hutchinson stands with Ukraine? WHO Cares if Ron DeSantis calls me “Listless?” NONE of these people will ever be the President of the United States. Is this the best we can do? While FUX was busy sucking donkee balls for ratings which never materialized, the REAL winner of the night, Donald Trump was busy breaking the internet with his one on one interview with Tucker Carlson which was released at the same time as the debate. Holy shit! As of this writing less than 48 hours later, more than 243 MILLION views on X. Oops! It gets even better! Thinking they would curbstop Trump, they scheduled his arrest in Atlanta around the same time as the debate. As usual, everything blew up in their faces. That fucking mugshot! It elevated Trump’s status as a social, cultural, political, historical icon to new heights practically overnight. Now he’s like James Dean, Bogart & Elvis all rolled up into one! Stoopid DONKEES! So clouded in their judgment by advanced TDS and the progressive ass cancer in their brains, they shot themselves in the dick AGAIN! Thanks to them, Trump is now the most recognized and talked about Human Being on the face of the Earth! AGAIN! This is political Aikido, master level 10; taking your opponent’s attack energy and turning it back over onto them. Could this finally be the bottom? Could both of these events mark a turning point of sorts in the struggle for us to take back our country? The Rats are looking mighty tired & desperate these days.     

So I took one for the team. As Mark Levine would say, “thank me, thank me!” I mean if I can get thru a double root canal, I should be able to get thru this debate, right? WOW, was I ever surprised! Said no one ever. The first tip off that this was another synthetic reality production was all seven male contestants were wearing the exact same tie and jacket color combinations along with white dress shirts. Since I have a real hard time swallowing that was all just pure, random coincidence; that means somewhere, the order went out for a common dress code. Come on, Man! Are you fucking kidding me? Compounded by the undeniable truth which hung over the entire affair like a haunting from the Ghost Of Elections Future that none of the eight individual has ANY ghost of a chance of being President. It’s like ordering a “why bother” at Starbucks. A “why bother” is a secret off menu coffee drink item of artificially sweetened sugar free, decaf coffee and skim milk. Why bother? Surely, not any of the people onstage in Milwaukee really think they have any chance at becoming President. So it must be about something else. Well, there is that entire campaign financing sucker donor play we have already discussed previous times here on Double Barrel. The idea isn’t really to win, but to make out handsomely after you lose by being able to keep any unspent donations. Good thing your campaign could afford to pay brother in law $1 MILLION to build the campaign website; $900K funneled back to you later after all the excitement has died down. See how that works? “Democracy!”

So here it is! Yours Truly’s snarky commentary and armchair evaluations of all the RINO debate players and their performances in NO particular order or significance. Remember, whoever is selected as the most beautiful RINO Baby will go on to the RNC convention to challenge a Donald Trump who will be at least FIFTY polling points ahead. Why bother?

1. Asa Hutchinson, the former governor of Arkansas. YAWN. OK, so what? While he was Governor I’m sure he did some things that were good and some things which probably weren’t so good for his state. That’s just an automatic given with career politicians. His problem is he has all the charisma of warm cottage cheese. After feeding at the government trough for almost 40 years, most of the country still has NO idea WHO this guy is or WHY we should be interested in anything he has to say. He’s another one who is really good at leaning which ever way the winds are blowing to optimize his political advantage. In other words, he’s another selfish, disingenuous, wishy washy RINO hack. He’s also a huge Zoolansky fanboi, actually having made pilgrimage to the royal palace in Kyiv for his photo op kissing the ring of the only gay, runt dicktater in history who can play the piano with his dick. IMO, this guy is the RINO equivalent of Joe Biden.

2. Chris Christie. Oh geeze, where do I even begin with this guy? The jokes write themselves. First, he’s a BIG GUY. Another former governor. FART! This guy’s most famous moment was his romantic walk along the beach with the hollow, milk chocolate Pharaoh. This is a guy who’s ass has it’s own zip code. A guy who can’t tell you when the last time he saw his own junk. However, he’s still a very well seasoned money grubbing political whore. Another ventriloquist who can talk out of both sides of his mouth at once. This annoying cheezer needs to have his own cooking show on cable. He could call it the “Joisey Gourmet.” This slob is a complete phony. There’s not ONE worthwhile new or original idea about anything floating around in that HUGE empty head of his. He has NO fucking answers for any of the things which are hurting us. NONE. The ONLY thing he’s got to run on is Trump hate; that’s his ENTIRE campaign platform, attacking Trump. Emotionally constipated and full of his own shit.

3. Ron DeSantis. Go home Ron, you’re drunk! Talk about a guy who was politically sitting on top of the world but flew too close to the Sun. Ron’s biggest problem is that he has allowed himself to be influenced and seduced by the neo-con money changers. They have made him into an opposition whore. The most troubling thing about that is how he has allowed them. Ron really needs to stop digging that fucking hole he has put himself down into, but instead he just keeps doubling down. He’s a GREAT governor and that’s exactly why he should keep his mouth shut and just stay home until 2028. However at the rate he’s self destructing, there may not be anything left of his political career by that time. When he ran for re-election for his second governor term, he promised he would serve out the full term if re-elected and not run for President. FAIL. The worth of any man is only as good as his word. Surely, you gotta know this, Ron. So what’s the deal? Where else but down can a campaign launched on a broken promise go? Ron needs to stay at home for the next four years to stop Florida from becoming another California.

4. Nikki Haley. The namaste curry princess. The only RINO woman in the group and an ethnic minority! Two out of three boxes checked! WHO is she trying to fool? I haven’t listened to one word that comes out of this bitch’s mouth since that fiasco she pulled with NASCAR and the Dixie flag. She lubs Ukraine too! She drags out and spews the same hollow, empty platitudes every time a camera appears. “America needs a strong leader to unite and overcome the division!” Well no shit, Einstein! “We need to stop letting our enemies influence or policies.” DUH! She’s got a hundred of them. Things which have been completely obvious to the average American since Reagan. The reason I never take her seriously is because beyond the platitudes, she offers NO solutions because A) that would be politically risky to her career if she ever had to go on the fucking record to take a stand about anything; and B) she really has NO solutions. Get lost, Nikki! You’re DONE! WHERE in blazes do these people come from?

5.Then there is the strange guy who nobody has ever seen or heard of before. Mugwump or whatever, the North Dakota governor. Too bad he’s the dark horse sitting down at the very bottom of all the polls because he actually came across as at least half way articulate and honest. Still can’t put my finger in it, but it was almost like his purpose there was to act as an opposition foil to counter the impact of the front runners, but who really knows? What I do know is that all these events are well crafted for maximum Sheeple consumption.This guy hasn’t got a prayers chance in Hell to stay alive through the primaries, much less become President. He won’t be in the next debate because he’s already totally out of the race; already washed up by the time he arrived. The scuttle is they dug him up in order to keep Larry Elder off the stage and out of the debates. Don’t know why & I certainly don’t care.

6. Vivek Ramaswamy. Ok, maybe I’m having just a little trouble getting past that name. Butt this is America and if a hollow chocolate Muzzie bunny with a name like Barak Hussein Obama can be selected (twice) to the highest office in the land then I guess anything is possible. Sorry if I am skeptical and apprehensive of foreigners dabbling in our political process. Besides, I don’t even know if this guy is even constitutionally eligible to be President. There’s a big difference between becoming “naturalized” and being a “natural born citizen.” I’m not in any way saying he’s anything like the flap eared, blue lipped, communist muslim Mike holder, butt come on, man! Anyway, he’s got energy, charisma and is well educated, well spoken and intelligent. Very young too! Yet, that Sword of Damocles with WEF stamped on the blade still hangs over his head. He also took money from Soros to fund part of his education. Although he has denied any ties, I’m still not completely convinced. So it’s a thumbs down for Vivek in the General’s household. Don’t want another stealth Davos gonernment infil-traitor.

7. Mike “Judas” Pence. Sorry, but not sorry. Don’t insult our intelligence. A true Establishment company man of the worse kind. If there is only ONE person I could hold responsible for putting us and America in the wretched position we’re in, it would be this lying, traitorous, POS fuck. At a pivotal moment in American History when this coward was called on to save the country and the 2020 election, his dick went limp and he punted. FAIL! He chose to be the fucking GOAT instead of the HERO. Way to go, Mike! Took the easy way out by completely betraying Trump and the oath of his office, then proceeded to sanctimoniously hide behind his practiced “how dare you question my motives because I’m a Christian” bullshit. Well shit, I guess that settles it, doesn’t it Mike? It’s impossible to argue with a true man of God. Mike’s another one who’s practiced in the fine art of never taking a specific stand on any issue and saying exactly what he thinks the people want to hear. Thankfully, there’s NO statute of limitations on TREASON. He won’t be president although The Machine told him that would be his eventual reward for throwing the election.

8. Tim Scott is a senator from South Carolina. He is currently the only black republican in the Senate. I couldn’t get very much of a feel for this guy because he wasn’t able to grab too much camera time, My general impression is that he may be a good guy, but he is still a career Beltway politician; and, we all know what that means.

I think FUX News really set up the debate and had it moderated by Muff & Buff to become a televised event in Trump bashing, butt all it really ended up doing was highlighting the most hopeful unhopefuls of the RINO Party. Would you support Donald Trump if he becomes the party’s nominee? All these little whipped puppies on stage looked around to see who would raise their hand first before deciding if that was a risk they were willing to take. No wonder less than 20 million pairs of eyes tuned in to watch this WWE match, while the Tucker/Trump interview garnered 243 MILLION views, and still counting! The real winner here was Donald Trump. The real loser was FUX. Suffice it to say, this Klown show was a complete bust. Trump will be the nominee, even if the Rats send him to prison. Trump will win the vote, butt perhaps not the ballot count. That’s another completely different discussion for another time. Stay tuned, America! ✪

For God & Country Patriots!!!

General Mossberg